


Play pretend

by mckinleysbitch



Category: Wet Hot American Summer (2001), Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Cliche, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, M/M, fake boyfriend trope, rom com trope, secretly affluent trope
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-12 12:00:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11736612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mckinleysbitch/pseuds/mckinleysbitch
Summary: Ben/Mckinley college AU//never met at camp firewood, and only realized they both went when they met in school freshman year. They have since become good friends and Ben for sure does NOT have a giant crush on Mckinley. Definitely not. Except he totally does.It’s Christmas of senior year. Mckinley asked Ben if he wanted to come to celebrate with his family, and because Ben’s parents have been in Aruba for a month, and don’t seem to be planning to come back anytime soon, he agrees.I am a sucker for cliche rom com plot tropes so please forgive this very self indulgent piece of writing.





	1. Chapter 1

****  
Day 1 

“Don’t be mad at me.” 

They’re standing on the doorstep of Mckinley’s childhood home, or estate, really. It’s much bigger than Ben expected, bigger than his own, and he vaguely wondered why Mckinley had never mentioned it. 

“Why would I be mad at you?” Ben shot him a look, “Whatever you did i’m sure it’s not that bad.” There was a click from the door, and Mckinley suddenly looked very panicked. 

“I might have… invited you here under false pretenses.” Ben raised an eyebrow. “I may have told my family that-” Before he could finish, the door opened, and Mckinley plastered on a smile.  
“Hello dear! it is so good to see you. It’s been too long.” He watched him exchanged a tense hug with his mom, glancing over at Ben nervously as she let go, “And you must be the boyfriend! Please, come in! Come in.” Ben’s eyes went wide, and Mckinley shot him a guilty look. “Please just play along. We’ll talk about it later,” he hissed, following his parents inside. Ben closed the door behind them, setting his bag down and grabbing Mckinley’s arm.

“Mack, what the hell are you doing?” Mckinley just opened his mouth and closed it again, looking towards the room his parents had gone into, “The boyfriend?” 

“Shh. Shut up. Look,” he sighed, putting his bag down next to Ben’s, “I haven’t seen my parents for more than five minutes in four years… since I came out. They’re /just/ coming around to the idea, and if I showed up here alone, they would still give me shit about it being a phase.” 

“Mckinley-”

“And I told them like… /two years/ ago that I had a boyfriend, and I couldn’t admit that I lied, but I also couldn’t just say we broke up because then it’s like… gay relationships never work out because they’re ‘unnatural,’ and so I just…” Ben sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Okay, okay! Alright.” he ran his fingers through his hair, “Okay, so, I just need to… pretend for a few days. I think I can manage that.” Mckinley looked relieved, “And if anyone you know ever needs a fake husband, boyfriend, or brother, give them my card.” Mckinley laughed, thank god. 

“Oh god, thank you.” He gave Ben a hug, “You’re saving my life right now. We should uh… we should probably go in there. They’re probably wondering what we’re doing.”

“Hey, we’ve been dating two years. We’re allowed to have a private conversation,” He smiled a little, “I do have to go to the bathroom though. Where…” Mckinley pointed him in the right direction, and Ben finally had a second to breath, leaning against the sink and looking at his reflection. Boyfriend. /Boyfriend/. Together for /two years/ boyfriend. It was not going to be easy to fake that, at least… maybe not for Mckinley. Ben had been imagining what it would be like for the last four years, resigning himself to pushing those feelings away in favor of keeping Mckinley around as a friend. Ben ran his hands over his face and groaned, trying to shake off any nerves and heading back out to start his fake life for the weekend.

****

“So, how did you boys meet? Mckinley has told us /very/ little about you, Ben.” His mother poured each of them a glass of wine, sitting in what Ben could only assume was the parlor of this gigantic place. 

“Well, uh,” he took his glass, glancing at Mckinley, who gave him a look as if to say ‘you’re the actor, you make it up.’ “We met freshman year at school, and actually, probably before that because we figured out we’d gone to the same summer camp for a while, but never really knew each other.” Which was true, so far. “We were pretty good friends for a while, and all our friends kept telling us we’d be good together, and after sophomore year finally bit the bullet.” He took a sip of the wine and looked over at Mckinley, who looked relieved to have not been the one who had to come up with the story. “It was very cute, actually. I was so nervous, of course, and your son took me on a picnic in the park for our first date. Wine and cheese and everything. It was like something out of a romance movie.” It was nice to not worry about exposing his crush for a little while, because he was /supposed/ to like Mckinley. All the scenarios he’d imagined were actually coming in handy, rather than sitting in the back of his mind like an embarassing secret, which is what they usually were. Mckinley’s mom seemed to buy the story, and his dad was hard to read, but he wasn’t questioning anything, which seemed to make Mckinley relax a little. 

Ben talked to Mckinley’s mother for a while, asking how she and her husband met, what Mckinley was like as a kid, and other potentially embarrassing information he could use against Mckinley for making him do this in the first place. She really wasn’t all bad, and Ben wondered how she was ever bad enough to make Mckinley stay away for so long. By the time they’d finished their third glass of wine, his dad had already gone off to bed, and Mckinley looked like he was about to pass out himself. “Seems our boys aren’t as energized as we are, dear. Maybe it’s time to head off to bed, we’ve got a lot of guests coming over tomorrow.” Before she even finished her sentence, Mckinley was off the couch and up to his room. He had no doubt been looking for an opportunity to leave without being rude. Ben laughed a little.

“I guess Mckinley agrees,” He stood, helping her take the glasses to the kitchen.

“I really am glad to meet you. I’m sure Mckinley’s told you that we weren’t so supportive in the past, but I’m glad to see him happy.” She smiled at Ben and he did his best not to let his falter.

“You and me both, Mrs. Dozen.” He sort of felt bad about lying to them. He knew why McKinley asked him to do this, but it still didn't quite feel right. She really just wanted him to be happy, whatever that meant. Who was Ben to lead her to believe something that wasn't true? 

“Please. Cheryl is just fine dear.” Ben smiled again, not sure how to respond without giving something away. She showed him where mckinley’s room was, where his friend was already asleep, and said goodnight. Hopefully tomorrow it would be better. Hopefully he could keep this up.


	2. party pooper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rich people make Mckinley crazy and champagne makes Ben drunk

Day 2

According to McKinley, today was the day of the annual Dozen Christmas party, which he had to live through every year of his life until he left for college.

“It's a bunch of rich people pretending they don't hate each other for like five hours once a year, and it is /hell/.” McKinley was buttoning his shirt, adjusting the collar in the mirror. “I'm sorry to drag you into it. Just pretend you're interested in what people are saying and drink as much as you can.” 

“I think I can handle it.” He smiled over at McKinley, adjusting his tie, “I'm just glad I remembered to bring something nice to wear. I would have been the laughing stock of your family if the nicest thing I had was a polo shirt.” McKinley laughed, but didn't disagree. 

“Alright, fake boyfriend. Knock em’ dead.” He gave Ben a pat on the back before opening the bedroom door to head downstairs, where guests had already started arriving. Ben really hoped he looked alright. He wasn't used to this level of excess. Everyone looked so elegant, and he was grateful for McKinley's mother handing him a drink as soon as he was down the stairs.

McKinley was whisked into conversations with old high school friends in town, leaving Ben to mingle with wealthy strangers. Most of them were nice enough, if not a little shocked at the concept of homosexuality, but that was to be expected. 

“So you must be the elusive boyfriend,” Ben heard a woman's voice from behind him and turned to see a woman he could only assume was one of McKinley's old friends standing behind him, “you know, I was beginning to wonder if you were even real, but here you are. In the flesh.” He laughed nervously, taking a sip of his drink, and glancing around to McKinley.

“You got me,” he smiled, holding out his hand, “Ben.”

“Katie,” she smiled back, raising an eyebrow at him, “so, Ben, what's it like dating the gayest person any of these snobs know?” He laughed, more genuine this time. 

“He hardly the gayest person /I/ know. After this evening I'll probably steal that title from him.” He spotted McKinley across the room, talking to some hunched old man in a very expensive suit. “He's… it's good. Very in love and all that.” It still felt weird to say things like that, and he was hoping it didn't show. 

“Mm. I'm almost surprised that he's picked someone. Nothing against you, but he wasn't exactly a relationship kind of guy in high school.” She shrugged, “props to you though, it's good to see him happy.” 

Ben smiled, looking down at his drink. He really hadn't changed, despite the lie. McKinley was still an anti-monogamy type of person. It almost pained him to think about how many times they'd gone out together and Ben had to go back to his apartment alone, McKinley having left with some guy. he realized he'd been silent too long, and maybe his thoughts were showing through, because gen was giving him a worried look.

“Oh god, I'm sorry. I don't know anything about your relationship I'm sorry if I brought up anything… McKinleys just… he's hard to reign in I get that.” 

“No! No its… god sorry. It's fine. It's definitely not what you think.” He laughed nervously, to which she responded with a raised eyebrow, “I uh… I should… I should probably go find him.” He looked around the room frantically, McKinley having moved from where he saw him last.

“Oh no you are not,” she put a hand on his shoulder, giving him a look, “I was that idiots best friend all through high school. Whatever it is, I want to know. I'm a little drunk and prepared to throw myself into fixing whatever stupid shit he did.” Ben sighed, chewing the inside of his lip and scanning the room again. He knew he shouldn't say anything, but he also /needed/ to have someone else in this with him if McKinley was going to be stuck in small talk all night.

“Okay, but not in here. If anyone hears I'm dead.”

**** 

“You're fucking with me.”

They had made their way into another, empty, room in this giant house, sitting across from each other in yet another sitting room.

“Swear to god.” He held his hand up, downing the rest of what must have been his fifth or sixth drink. “I was totally psyched out, but he's my best friend, and I was already here. I couldn't exactly tell his parents he lied to them for two years.” Katie sat back in her seat, shaking her head. 

“God. What an idiot.” She laughed, rolling her eyes, “I'm sure you already know that though.” Ben just breathed a laugh, nodding. “Okay… but what's your deal though? I mean, I don't feel like that's just a friend thing to do. There must be something you're getting out of this.” 

“Ah… well I'm… no. Nothing. Just… being helpful.”

“Bullshit.” Okay, it was a lie, but he didn't need this girl knowing that, /especially/ since she was such good friends with McKinley. “You wouldn't just do this for kicks. Are you like, in love with him or something?” He knew she was being facetious, but his face must have given him away, because her eyes went wide. “Oh my god, you totally are.”

“No.” He had always been bad at lying, especially for an acting major, “okay, fine. But if you tell him, you're dead.”

“Ben what are you doing sitting in here then?” She pointed her glass at him, giving him an incredulous look, “You're already his fake boyfriend. You gotta show him that you're like… the best boyfriend ever.”

“What the hell are you talking about,” he glanced out towards the party, “I can't… I can't tell him /here/.”

“No shut up and listen to me.” She sat on the edge of her seat, “if you go out there and make all these rich fucks love you and make mckinley see you're boyfriend material, maybe he'll see what he's missing, you know?”

“I…” she wasn't… wrong. It wasn't a foolproof plan, but it was the best chance he'd get to try and show McKinley how he felt without doing it directly. “I guess… I mean… why didn't I think of that?” Katie laughed, and Ben looked towards the main room again. “I'm gonna need another drink, but it doesn't hurt to try. I'm an acting major I could just play it off as committing to the role.” He chewed his lip, taking a breath before standing. “Okay… yeah. Yeah. Whatever.” He stood, swaying a little and realizing he was maybe a little more drunk than he thought he was, and making his way back into the party. He spotted Mckinley almost immediately and stood up a little straighter, running his fingers through his hair and taking a breath before walking over.

“Hello dear,” he smiled, putting his arm around Mckinley, who laughed nervously and gave him a look. He was talking to an older woman, which was great for Ben, because Ben was great at getting along with older women. “Hello, I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Ben, this lovely young man’s partner.” He smiled, holding out his hand for the woman to shake. She immediately smiled, returning the greeting and introducing herself as an aunt or something. Her name and relation to Mckinley were too long to remember at this very moment. A few compliments later, he had her liking him, maybe even more than she liked Mckinley, who acted very blasé about this whole party. They chit chatted for a few minutes before Mckinley politely excused the two of them and practically dragged Ben away.

“What was that?” He said, breathing a laugh and raising an eyebrow at his friend.

“What are you talking about? I’m your boyfriend, remember? I’m supposed to act like that.” He shot him a lopsided smile and mckinley just rolled his eyes. 

“I need another drink.”

****

Ben and McKinley were the main attraction now that people were seeing them together. There was something about an affectionate gay couple that was fascinating to everyone here, and Ben was playing right into it. He had their origin story down to the smallest detail by the 15th person who asked, and was honestly starting to have a lot of fun with the whole charade. He knew that most of these people were feigning their support to keep from causing a scene, and he used it against them. The more hesitant they seemed about the whole thing, the more affectionate Ben was. 

“So, your mother tells me you’ve been together two years. How… nice.” Ben smiled at the woman standing in front of him. At this point, he could have already talked to her three times, and he wouldn’t know. Everyone here started to blend together past a certain number of drinks. 

“Yep. I’m very lucky. Isn’t he gorgeous?” He squeezed his shoulder a little and pressed a kiss to the side of his forehead, getting a wide eyed look from the woman standing in front of him. Mckinley laughed nervously and excused them, again, pulling Ben off to a side room, giving him a look.

“Are you drunk?” Ben scoffed. Yes. He definitely was drunk, but Mckinley didn’t need to call him out on it. 

“No.” His friend just raised an eyebrow, and Ben sighed. Bad liar. “Yes. What’s your point?”

“Don’t you think you’re laying it on a little thick out there? These people just /now/ found out I’m gay. It doesn’t need to be so in your face.” He finished off his drink, setting it down on the table. Ben snorted, rolling his eyes. 

“Oh come on. Isn’t it fun to shock them? You’re the one who’s complaining that none of them really get it. All their stupid fake support… it doesn’t make you want to mess with them?” 

“No! I just… I asked you to do this and it’s great that you committed yourself to the role or whatever, but I set the parameters here. I know these people.” Ben frowned, “Why are you being so weird? I thought you’d be like… shy about it, or something. I really didn’t expect you to go so far with it. All you needed to do is stand there and agree with people when they asked.” Ben opened his mouth to argue with him, but closed it again, chewing the inside of his lip.

“You're right.”

“I… what?” He seemed surprised that Ben wasn't fighting him on this, but he couldn't. He knew why he was being the way he was, and McKinley didn't deserve to deal with this.

“You're right. I'm sorry. I got carried away.” He sighed, running a hand over his face, “god. Sorry. I thought that if I… I don't know. I wanted to show you…ugh,” he couldn't manage to force the words out. This confession was years in the making, and it was not happening nearly as romantically as he thought it would. Mckinley looked worried, but also like he didn't quite understand what was going through Ben’s head, which was probably for the best. 

“Are you okay, Ben? What’s going on with you?” 

What /was/ going on with him? For four years he’d managed to keep this under control, dodging questions and repressing any romantic feelings he had for his friend, his /best/ friend. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone to do anything. Standing here though, being here with Mckinley’s family, having the very thing he’d been wanting for so long held right in front of him, just barely out of reach… it was torture, is what it was, and he couldn’t help it. He wanted to take advantage of the chance to pretend. Ben really wasn’t sure how to answer him without panicking and just rambling out everything he was thinking at that moment. He looked so /worried/. 

“I…” He chewed his bottom lip, nervously, his eyes darting to Mckinley’s and then away, “It’s nothing. I’m just being… overdramatic.” He smiled a little, and Mckinley seemed satisfied with the answer, at least for now, giving him a concerned look before glancing back towards the party.

“Alright… I’m gonna go back. My mother is talking about me, I can feel it in my bones,” Ben breathed a sigh of relief and nodded, “You’re sure you’re okay? If you need to bail on the rest of the party you can. They’re all probably too drunk to notice at this point.”

“No it’s okay. I’ll be out in a second,” Mckinley hesitated and Ben rolled his eyes, “I’m /fine/ Mckinley, okay? Stop worrying about me.”

“Yeah… alright.” He wasn’t convinced, that was for sure, but at least he was leaving Ben alone for even just a few minutes. Ben let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as soon as Mckinley was out of sight, and sat down on the couch, running his fingers through his hair. He wasn’t sure how he’d get through the rest of this trip. He had come so close to fucking everything up just now. Four years of friendship hung in the balance here, and he didn't want to ruin it with a stupid drunken comment. After a moment, he stood again, shaking off the anxiety and putting on his best smile as he headed back out into the party, determined to make it through the rest of the night. 

****

The rest of the party passed without incident. Mckinley’s mother continued to show them off, subliminally letting all her friends know how forward thinking she was in the process. Ben kept a careful distance from Mckinley, touching his arm or giving him a soft smile every so often to keep up the charade. It was worse now than it had been in the beginning, when he’d been completely infatuated, because he knew. He could feel Mckinley’s friend Katie giving him worried looks, catching her watching out of the corner of his eye, but he tried to ignore it. She didn’t know what was best for their relationship. Their friendship was more important to Ben than anything else. He couldn’t risk it.

When the party finally ended, Ben didn’t think he’d ever been more relieved in his life. By the time Mckinley got up the stairs, Ben had managed to change out of his cheap suit and fall into his makeshift bed on the floor of the bedroom, half asleep already as Mckinley laughed at him.

“I warned you about them, didn’t I?” Ben groaned, rolling over and rubbing his hands over his face.

“Yeah, I just didn’t know how much /work/ being the token gays would be. Is this what the rest of our lives are going to look like?” Mckinley snorted, shaking his head.

“Mine, maybe. You won’t have to deal with this shit every year.” Right. Because they weren’t actually together. This wasn’t going to be a regular occurrence for Ben, not after this weekend.

“Thank god.” He breathed a laugh, closing his eyes. He heard Mckinley get into bed, and the lights went out.

“Merry Christmas,” Mckinley mumbled, obviously already falling asleep.

“Merry Christmas.”


	3. Ben cries on christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Rolex watch sets off more drama than ever before

Day 3

This was not Ben's room.

It took him a second to really process where he was, and cringe upon remembering the events of the night before. He'd really made a good of himself, but at least he hadn't done anything stupid, like tell the truth. He sat up and looked over to McKinley's bed, where his friend was still fast asleep. Seeing him over there was yet another reminder that he didn't /really/ have what he wanted, that he wasn’t with Mckinley, that they didn’t sleep in the same bed. He sighed and stood up, stretching a little before heading to the bathroom to take a shower. At least he only had one more day of this. 

By the time he got back in the room, Mckinley was awake, sitting up in bed reading his book. Ben tried not to laugh at the stupid glasses he had to wear, but they got him every time, and Mckinley just glared at him.

“Shut up.” Ben put his hands up, feigning innocence. 

“I didn’t say anything.” 

“I know what you’re thinking, stupid.” They smiled at each other and Ben rolled his eyes, pulling on his absolute worst christmas sweater, packed just for this occasion. “Oh god. You are /not/ wearing that.” 

“What?” He looked down at it, the smiling snowman seeming /perfectly/ appropriate for this joyous occasion, “Too lowbrow for this crowd?” Mckinley snorted a laugh.

“That’s an understatement,” He looked at Ben over the rims of his glasses, “My mother wears her pearls christmas morning, has since I was a kid. No way this will go over well.”

“Well your mother will just have to get used to it.” He smiled, waggling his brows at Mckinley, who scoffed at him and shook his head.

“It’s your funeral.” 

****

Somehow, this house looked gorgeous after that disaster of an evening last night, but maybe it was only a disaster from Ben’s perspective. The tree was beautiful, the gifts were perfectly wrapped, and Mckinley’s parents were waiting, drinking coffee, in the parlor for Ben and Mckinley to join them. Ben’s sweater got a laugh from Mckinley’s mother, which Ben promptly rubbed in his friend’s… boyfriend’s face. 

After about half an hour, his parents started handing gifts around, one landing in Ben’s lap, to his surprise.

“Oh, Cheryl you really didn’t have to get me anything,” Especially since this whole relationship was fake anyways.

“Don’t be silly darling. Just open it.” Ben smiled and complied, giving Mckinley a look out of the corner of his eye, who just shrugged. He opened the box to reveal a /gorgeous/ rolex watch, probably worth more than anything he had ever owned, and was unable to keep the look of shock off his face.

“Cheryl, /really/ you shouldn’t have.” Even Mckinley looked a little surprised, and Ben took the watch out in disbelief, “This… I mean… Thank you, but it’s really too much.” She just waved him off.

“It’s my way of thanking you, dear,” She gave her husband a look and sighed, “I know that we haven’t really been around for Mckinley the past couple of years, and that’s our own fault, but I’ve been so glad to meet you, Ben. It gives me at least a little peace to know that he’s had someone around when we couldn’t be, especially someone like you.” Ben wasn’t sure what to say. He felt like he either wanted to laugh or cry, and he was worried one would happen outside of his control and give away the whole charade. He looked over at Mckinley, who was somehow calm about what had just come out of his mother’s mouth, probably because he wasn’t secretly desperately in love with the person he was pretending to have a two year relationship with. 

 

“I…” He let out a breath and smiled a little, “I’m glad I could be that person.”

**** 

The rest of the day was painful, at least for Ben. There was a lot of that mushy shit coming from Mckinley’s parents that only reminded him over and over again that this wasn’t his life. When he could finally excuse himself for bed, it was a relief to be upstairs alone, Mckinley staying down for another drink with his parents. It had been all he could do to hold back any emotions, and as soon as he was by himself, they came bursting out, tears rolling down his face as he stood in front of the sink in the bathroom.

“God dammit, Ben. Get a fucking hold of yourself.” He wiped the tears from his eyes and took a breath, looking at himself in the mirror, “It’s not real. This is not your life. He is not your boyfriend. None of it is real.” He couldn’t keep the tears away as he said the words out loud. He was fucking /pathetic/ why couldn’t he do this? He heard a soft knock on the door and nearly jumped out of his skin, frantically wiping his face and trying to blink away any redness in his eyes before opening the door to find Mckinley on the other side.

“Ben are you-” he watched his face turn to concern when he saw Ben. Obviously he hadn’t done a great job of hiding his emotions. “Oh god. Are you okay? What’s happening, what’s wrong?” Ben just shook his head, knowing that if he tried to say anything the tears would come back. “Is it something my mother said? I’m sorry about her it’s… they really mean well, you know.” Ben pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and groaned. 

“No, it’s… god this is so fucking stupid. I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to deal with this. I didn’t want you to… I thought you’d be downstairs a while.” He took another deep breath in an attempt to keep back the tears, “It’s not them at all, or you. I’m just being… I don’t know.” Mckinley took a step into the bathroom and frowned at him.

“Ben whatever it is… I’m sorry I dragged you into this. I should have told you I was just afraid you’d say no, and I couldn’t show up without someone, and I don’t know anyone else who knows-”

“Mckinley shut up. Just shut up.” He ran his hands over his face and sighed, “It’s not you, and it’s not this… at least, not the way you think. It’s my own fault that I can’t handle this, okay? You don’t need to worry about it.” He regretted letting him in before he had composed himself. If he had just fought through the tears, he wouldn’t have to be having this conversation. 

“Are you kidding? I can’t sit down there forever when you left so obviously upset,” Had he looked upset? He’d really tried not to. “What kind of boyfriend would that make me look like?”

“A fake one!” Ben snapped, feeling a pang of guilt at the look on Mckinley’s face, but he was too pent up to care, “Because we’re not fucking together! None of this is real!” the tears were back, but who could fucking blame him? “I can’t do this! I can’t fucking sit here in your parents’ house pretending that I have everything I could have ever wanted. I can’t…” 

“Ben what are you talking about? You’ll have this someday, are you kidding?” Was he really this oblivious? Was he seriously assuming Ben was speaking generally? “There’s a thousand guys out there who would be lucky to have you.” Ben just looked at him, a little dumbfounded. “Is that why you’ve been so weird this weekend? You’re only twenty two Ben, it’s not like you need to be settling down or anything.” 

“Oh my god. You’re an idiot.” He threw his hands up, pushing past Mckinley into the bedroom and sitting down on the edge of the bed. He was in love with a fucking idiot. 

“What? What the hell is going on with you?” Mckinley followed him, standing in front of him, “Why the hell are you so upset? It’s not like it’s /my/ fault you’re not dating anyone.” Ben sighed, pressing his palms into his eyes to try and keep himself from getting upset.

“Mckinley I told you it’s not your fault. I said that. Will you just leave it?” 

“No! You were fucking crying! Not my fault, my ass. If it wasn’t my fault why wouldn’t you tell me what’s wrong?” 

“Because I love you! Because I’m in love with you, and I have been for three years, you absolute fucking idiot!” Angry tears were running down his cheeks, and Mckinley looked a little taken aback, his eyes wide. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, obviously unsure how to respond. Every second he took to think about it, Ben got more frustrated.

“What?” Was what he finally managed to spit out, and Ben lost it, standing and grabbing his face between his hands and kissing him, the tears still flowing hot, his eyes squeezing shut. After a couple of seconds, McKinley was kissing back, his breathing heavy against Ben’s mouth, and Ben couldn't help but be surprised. Before he could really process what was happening, they had fallen back onto the bed, McKinley pinning him down, tugging at the hem of his sweater while Ben undid the buttons on his shirt. It wasn't long before they were both stripped down to just their underwear, Ben in his boxers and McKinley in his tighty whities that had never once seemed sexy until this moment. Mckinley sat back, straddling Ben’s waist and smirking down at him a little, toying with the waistband of his boxers. Ben sat up on his elbows, giving him an impatient look.

“Don’t be a fucking tease,” He huffed, but it seemed to only encourage him. He pulled Ben’s boxers off, tracing his fingers gently over his pelvis, passing barely a millimeter from Ben's cock, making him let out a sharp breath. “Mckinley… Jesus. Please.” He didn't need to be told twice, hopping up to get lube and a condom from his bag before returning to Ben, who just watched, his eyes half lidded with lust. Thank god he came prepared. It's not like Ben had come here expecting any of this. McKinley coated his fingers with lube, teasing at his entrance and simultaneously pressing a wet kiss to the head of his cock, making Ben arch his back and let out a shaky breath. “Fuck.” McKinley chuckled quietly, pushing a finger inside of him, his eyes fixed on Ben’s face as he stretched him open. Ben squirmed a little under his gaze, but it only made this hotter, knowing McKinley wanted to watch him come undone. And he was, completely giving in, moaning and arching and gripping the sheets under McKinley’s touch. When he finally pulled his fingers out, Ben was almost /drooling/ in anticipation, everything he could have ever wanted laying itself out in front of him. He propped himself up, watching mckinley put on the condom, running his tongue over his bottom lip absently. McKinley moved up to kiss him, slow and deliberate, as he finally /finally/ pushed inside Ben, making him moan into his mouth. He wrapped an arm around McKinley’s shoulders, digging his nails into the other’s back as he began to move, their foreheads resting against each other, both of their eyes falling shut. Ben couldn't help the noises he was making when mckinley sped up his pace, whining against Mckinley’s lips, vaguely aware that his parents were in the next room, but not having the energy to bring himself to care. “God, I fucking love you.” He breathed, his hand tangling in his hair as they kissed. McKinley pulled back, sitting up and gripping Ben’s thigh, speeding up again and making Ben’s head fall back, his mouth open in a silent moan. McKinley wrapped his free hand around Ben’s cock, stroking in time with his thrusts, and it wasn't long before Ben was coming, arching his back and gripping the sheets, McKinley's name on his lips. McKinley managed a few more thrusts before he was right there with him, leaning back over to kiss him, hot and desperate, before pulling out and collapsing next to him, both taking a few moments to catch their breath, McKinley taking off the condom and tossing it in the trash next to his bed, handing Ben a tshirt to clean up with before letting himself relax. There were a few minutes of silence before McKinley turned his head to look at him.

“So… are you actually in love with me?” Ben sighed, keeping his eyes closed.

“Yeah.” 

“Why?” Ben opened his eyes, looking over at him. 

“What do you mean, why? Because I am.” McKinley frowned, shrugging a little.

“I guess I just… I don't get why you would be. I'm not anything that special, not to mention you know me well enough to know that romance isn't exactly my thing. Why would you waste your time?” Ben reached over to play with his hair a little. 

“McKinley, you're so worth it. You are kind, and caring, and you make me laugh… even when you're an asshole, I love it, because it's usually with good intentions.” He rolled back to look at the ceiling, “And I know that. I never expected… I know where my priorities are, and where yours are too, which is why I never planned on saying anything, at least not now.” He glanced over at McKinley, who was staring up at the ceiling, chewing the inside of his lip.

“Yeah…” Ben couldn't read his expression, and it made him anxious, but he really didn't want to push it. This was risky enough as is. “I mean… I do love you, in the most platonic way possible.” Ben deflated a little, biting his lip to keep himself from showing any sort of reaction. “you're gorgeous, you're smart, you're so caring… and obviously we have this… chemistry. It makes sense, I'm just…” he looked over at Ben, “I'm not good at this kind of stuff. It's why I never do it. It fucking scares me Ben, and I don't want to fuck it up and lose you.” Ben rolled over to his side, propping himself up on his forearm and looking down at him.

“Yeah I… you know where I am with this. I can't expect you to decide anything right now, or even ever. If right now is all that will ever happen, I know I can't make you do more, but just… just know that I do love you, and probably always will. Even if i stop wanting you, I'll still love you. I see you too clearly not to.” McKinley's eyes moved to meet Ben’s, and he pushed himself up so he was looking at him, face to face. His free hand came up to touch his cheek, and McKinley kissed him gently. Ben felt a lump forming in his throat when he pulled away, and McKinley licked his lips, deep in thought. 

“It's different.” He said after a moment, “kissing you is different. I wasn't sure if it was just the adrenaline or something, but it's not. I feel like… we have to at least figure out what that means.” Ben swallowed thickly, smiling a little. “I won't be in the same place as you, love, for a long time. It takes a lot for me, but…” Ben didn't give him the chance to finish his sentence, kissing him again, squeezing his eyes shut to keep himself from crying. 

“It's ok,” he finally said, “it doesn't matter. I love you.”

“I know.”


End file.
